I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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