I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I could have mohawked her pubes.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
