Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
