When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
