Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just want nice things and good sex
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
