No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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