how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
