so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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