you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
