The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
