yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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