I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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