when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
