I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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