hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
