Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
