you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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