i don't plan on having that self control this summer
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
