we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
