it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
