3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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