two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize