Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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