I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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