Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
