the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
