I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
