just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
