So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
