Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
