is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
