Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
