my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
