I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
