After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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