Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
