And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
