so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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