there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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