...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I could fuck to npr.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
