K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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