I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
