I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
