I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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