my being single is dangerous.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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