what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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