just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
