South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
