Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
