How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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