Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
