My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Randomize
