Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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