yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
