You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
